my scars

I am afraid to say something stupid.

I am afraid I still love you.

I tell myself that I miss the idea of you,

but I don't think that's true.

I think I miss you. 

I feel a small piece of me is carved out.

I think of my girlfriend, and the crazy things

I'm dreaming of doing.

But while I am trying to focus on my life,

I am interrupted by thoughts and questions

about yours.

I am worried I fucked up,

or maybe you fucked me up..

I am scared I will be alone

in a group of people I have no attachment to.

I am scared.

I am fearful to ever love again,

to open up to anyone new.

So many people want to help me..

And yet all of my mind is on you.

The only person who makes me think about

anything else,

is her.

So why do I feel this way?